The older we get, the more often we are confronted with a certain type of relationship, the long-distance relationship. Whether the couple is separated by a 3-hours drive or whether a whole ocean is between them, long-distance relationships are more common than we think (according to a study by deals.com, 13% of Germans are leading one). But long-distance relationships have the potential to flourish into a beautiful connection between two people.
My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for about 8 months now. I was sceptical at the beginning, especially because we’d only been together (and also known each other) for just over a month. Honestly, I’d never thought I’d spend more time separated from a boyfriend than with him, and I surely never wanted to experience it. But now, 8 months into the whole long-distance thing, I can consider the results of it. And believe me, it’s better than you might think.
If you stick to certain rules in a long-distance relationship, it can be pretty amazing. In the following, I have collected a few things that my boyfriend and I do to make our relationship as wonderful as possible.
Numero Uno: Communication is Key! Good communication is something I highly recommend. I don’t mean telling your significant other everything (you surely don’t want to tell them about the amazing holiday trip you booked for them as a surprise) but keeping the communication alive. Daily phone calls and messages every once in a while are crucial. Just involve your loved one in your daily routine and make them feel like they are an essential part of your life.
The great part about messaging is that you don’t have to react to a statement right away. Sometimes it’s good to take a step back and think about what has been said. I feel like often situations escalate because we choose to react immediately, instead of taking time to realise that what the other meant might be the exact opposite of what you initially understood.
The beautiful thing about my relationship is that even though he lives in England and I am in Germany, I feel like I’m being part of what he is experiencing or going through. At the beginning of our long-distance relationship we would make cute little videos and sent them to each other. The visual component to a message was truly invigorating. Sometimes we would send each other short messages, just saying a quick hi before uni, other times we would make longer videos, telling each other about our day or how we, ok I, do my make-up (I’m sure he knows how to perfectly apply eyeliner by now).
Another thing we would do is talk almost every night. Usually our phone calls would end with me falling asleep on the phone, then waking up after he hung up, then me calling him again, apologising for falling asleep, then me feeling asleep again. But seriously, what’s better than falling asleep hearing the voice of your love? Nothing, damn straight. Sometimes we’d just talk about our day and sometimes vital matters would keep us awake. No matter what it is, it connected us. Because you are lacking this physical component of the relationship, you need to develop a different way of communicating with each other. Almost everything depends on what you say to each other. Communicate efficiently, this will connect you on another level.
Next month, Tom and I are going to Paris. It was a birthday present for him, and finally the time has come. Planning adventures is another key factor to a great long-distance relationship. You can look forward to something beautiful together, talk about what you want to do on the phone and experience your own little vacation in your mind before actually going there.
Make the time you have together special. By this I don’t mean putting pressure on each other to make every single second perfect (that’d kinda ruin it), but to simply put effort into making nice things with each other. Whether it is going to the cinema, visiting that new pub in town or going to restaurants, you don’t have to go overboard with it, just do something enchanting that gives you the opportunity to enjoy a lovely time with your loved one. Sometimes it’s even great to simply relax or even work next to each other. I feel like I write the best texts when I have the chance to talk about what I want to say to my boyfriend.
The things I wrote down merely function as guidelines. Some might work for you and your partner, some might not. Figure out what works for you along the way. I truly hope you’re enjoying your journey 🙂