Some of us bear an indestructible will to change the world and help people inside ourselves.
It doesn’t matter who it is, we want to help them. Help them see the world differently, in a way that might be more pleasant for them. We want to help them understand us. We give them a smile but they might not return it.
This post today goes out to all the do-gooder, to all the lovely ladies and gentlemen who carry such a strong, warm and light power inside themselves. We always want to improve the world. But sometimes, the world doesn’t want to be improved.
Lately, my mom and my aunt had had an argument- and as families are- it got dirty. Before that incident, my aunt had send me rather rude messages concerning the way I choose to dress myself- she would say immature things like “Eww” or “Why do you have to disfigure yourself like that?” To be honest, I was shocked as well as hurt. Especially, when I told her that I enjoyed the way I dress and that I could do with my body what I wanted to, she did not stop. She would go on comparing me to a cow (she didn’t like the FAKE septum I was wearing), at that point I thought, ok well, she doesn’t get it. Let’s leave it at that.
Unfortunately, a day later my mom talked to her (not about me) and they got into a fight. My aunt hung up while my mother was still talking to her and things like that. Then I made a mistake.
I messaged my aunt, telling her that she hurts people with the way she behaves. I wanted her to leave my family alone as long as she doesn’t realize what her words did to people. That her words were rough and full of incomprehension. What I tried to do was make her see that her words had an effect, that they actually hurt.
Unfortunately she didn’t see it that way. In fact, she didn’t even react to my statement but felt personally offended and wished to no longer receive accusations. I was furious. I was shaking, I was crying (yeah, it all got really deep), I was calling my mom who didn’t answer the phone, then I called my dad, we talked and laughed and finally- I took a bath.
Seriously, that was the only thing that seemed to make sense at that moment, taking a bath.
And while I was building animals and my very own little foam-pony-farm with my bubble bath I realized: some people are not worth fretting about. Some people don’t want your help, so that all your efforts to support them will be fruitless.
It is not YOUR job to make them see, you can try and help them but if your efforts stay unsuccessful- leave it alone! It’ll only take up all your amazing time you could spend doing so many beautiful things like taking care of yourself! Or thinking about which dish you’re going to serve on your birthday, or about that interesting seminar paper on feminism/a TV series/animal rights. Or you could read this amazing book that is waiting for you in your bookshelf.
Who you can save is yourself. Invest as much time as possible in yourself- educate yourself, read about psychology, human rights, history, politics, pretty much ANYTHING that’ll broaden your horizon. You can make yourself see, but you can’t help everyone to see what you’re seeing.
I know you’re amazing and hard-working and lovely, don’t waste these qualities on people who cannot appreciate them.